Depression
So, this may come as a surprise.. or it may fit exactly into what you've come to know about me, but this year has been probably the most depressing year of my life. I could probably get a perscription for medication if I wanted to. I cant believe how difficult it is to keep myself happy. Or at least away from the pits of depression. I thank all of my friends for hanging out with me, I havent been that social this year, mostly because Im not happy and therefore not in the mood to party. I also know that I cant drink excessively because a) I'm poor and b) I might break down and cry (something I dont do). Anyway, this is kinda a clearing of my chest and an explination for anyone who is wondering.
I am on a "deans vacation" ie: I'm stuck in first year classes in GMCC and am taking some courses I'm not interested in Psych 105 and courses I enjoy, but I feel about 20 years older then the people in them, dont care to make friends in them and even acing the course doesnt help.
I am part of UAMC but its not a Huge part of my life, sometimes I feel like I'm back in highschool and I am part of a crowd that doesnt know me and isnt interested in getting to know me but has this stereotypical view of whom I should be. (There are those who are exceptions thanks MYL and AE).
I feel like I am unable to be who I want to be, unable to learn and do what I want to do and above all, I am so incredibly lonely.
If you read this and know me, please come and talk to me. I want to make some more genuine friends.
I am on a "deans vacation" ie: I'm stuck in first year classes in GMCC and am taking some courses I'm not interested in Psych 105 and courses I enjoy, but I feel about 20 years older then the people in them, dont care to make friends in them and even acing the course doesnt help.
I am part of UAMC but its not a Huge part of my life, sometimes I feel like I'm back in highschool and I am part of a crowd that doesnt know me and isnt interested in getting to know me but has this stereotypical view of whom I should be. (There are those who are exceptions thanks MYL and AE).
I feel like I am unable to be who I want to be, unable to learn and do what I want to do and above all, I am so incredibly lonely.
If you read this and know me, please come and talk to me. I want to make some more genuine friends.
posted by Wendy's Stories at
9:03 PM
3 Comments:
Wendy,
Iknow where you are coming from, and i'm feeling a lot like you this year. Things can be tough when you've been through what you've been through the last 6 months, but know that you've always got lots of friends who care about you and would be there for you if you need to talk.
And I totally understand what you mean about Gmac... I feel like if I don't have 10 pounds of makeup on, and dressed like i'm ready to go to the bar that I'm not really fitting in. But, I've been accepted into the BSc Nursing program there for next year, so I have another 2 years left there. heh.
Keep your chin up, talk to your friends and family, and if you ever want a chat/beer/good ol venting session, give me a call. I'll even buy the first 2 rounds :P
~Kristin
By
Kristin K., at 10:26 PM
Wendy,
You are a fantastic person and you should never dont that. Hey - not to many people would go out with someone with a wet ass unless they were something special!
As for the GMac situation, just do what you have to do and dont worry about the teeny boppers. At least they are perhaps helping with your gpa - ride that curve!
Have you given (Re:BP's Convo) a try yet? That should surely help put a smile on your face.
I miss you tons and miss out chats and rants.
Aimee
By
AA, at 1:11 AM
Ha Ha - apparently I have lost my ability to think/type in english. You should never dont that should actually read - you should never doubt that!
By
AA, at 1:21 AM
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