Lightsabre Convocation Spectacular

I have been working on getting myself graduated and out of the U for some time now. However with the upcoming fall/winter registration dates opening, I have realized that I need to go see an advisor. I have also considered graduating and then completing that elusive general science degree. Mostly just to spite the people who gave me the "required to withdraw" back in 05. I also wouldn't mind getting paid more.

It however has come to my attention that a general science degree doesn't really have that many requirements. The robust schedule I had as a genetics students has pretty much covered my basis. The original plan was to graduate with a B. Ed (elementary) and then apply to the B. Sc after degree program. Finish off any course work and then convocate and get my second diploma. Interestingly I have already finished the requirements for this "after degree".

I am not sure what to do... I have the feeling that the faculty of science would not agree to letting my graduate from their faculty without actually applying in the first place. I also don't think they would look too kindly on my... applying for an after degree without finishing my first degree. (The vision of obtaining my after degree before my original one does settle nicely). I also am vague on the university's policy for applying for a regular (not an after degree per say) degree while also admitted to the faculty of Education. I could finish up a couple psych courses and then graduate at identical times with two degrees, bypassing the whole combined degree fiasco (which i don't think they will let me into).

My next plan was to finish any necessary course work while still in education graduate from education, the next day apply for an after degree in science and then the next day apply for convocation. Technically I would be part of the faculty and would have to wait around until the next session, but would they let me do that while not taking any courses? Could I apply for a course and then withdraw before the deadline?

Tomorrow I will be visiting two sets of councilors or advisers, I have a nice sheet of questions drawn up. I also have my lengthy transcript and the sheet that Ed requires you bring (even though they have a copy in their files too). The top questions on my list are....

4. Can I get my grad pictures taken with two of those swag things on? One for science one for Education?
3. Could I technically get the second degree first? If convocation for science comes before education? Would you still give me my degree or would I have to wait around?
2. How can I get the most degrees for the least amount of work? Is there another degree out there I have the requirements for?

and the number one question...

1. When I finally get both degrees will you let me create a darth maul- esq light sabre with them and do a choreographed victory celebration on the stage which cummulates my convocation spectacular?

I cant wait to see those advisers faces. RTW my ass.

THe Bell Curve

This past week I have been feeling average.

This average is not a good average, not necessarily the riding the curve average that oh so pleasently gets you through without undue stress or lack of sleep. Instead I mean the unremarkable average.

I am not REALLY good at anything, and I am not really pretty, or really smart, or nice or kind or tallented at music, or sports, or dance, or computers. In general I am not really anything. I am also not really bad at anything. Sometimes I wonder if anyone notices me at all. I am not really ugly, or exotic looking (although a certain Fang Hu would disagree) I am not really mean or really bad at music or school, or sports or anything.

While I am glad Im not lower on the scale, being awful at something might give me the leg up and bring me to someone's attention. Even if i was awful at something, I likely would be better somewhere else. Teachers, parents and scholarships cite well-roundedness as important to get ones'self ahead in the world. HOwever being the epitamy of well-roundedness and decent at everything gifted at nothing I can tell you that this is a lie. Sure it might get you in the gate, but once inside they expect a sudden discover of passion and giftedness. As a jack of all trades I can tell you no one is clamoring for my attention.

This seems to translate into my love life. Sure Im ok, but there is someone out there better in at least one aspect. Once they find that someone who matches or compliments their own strengths they quickly move on, or forget me.

This being said, there must be a Mr. average out there. If you know him. please let him know I exist. Assuming of course, you remember me and will recognize me again.

Post Numero Uno

For all you out there counting, there will be a second. This first post is just some observations of late.
1. Do people who have mullets know that they have mullets? What sort of sadistic hair dresser would actually cut a greying business man a mullet? How do you go about asking for a mullet when you go to your hairdresser? This baffles me. And yet today on the LRT I saw one prime party in the back. IT was salt and pepper with distinct waves of flowing goodness streaming from the nap of its neck. The horror.

2. How do you say hello without interrupting someone when you havent seen them in say 2 years. You dont really have anything important to say beyond "hey hows it going?" I always try to make eye contact and smile. However this results in me not knowing if Im creeping them out because they dont recognize me, or if they are ignorning me and hoping i wont come over and say hello. They could also be completely oblivious, but sometimes i do it for a long time. YES I am a creeper.

3. Why do guys look at themselves SOOOOO much in the mirrors at the gym. It's always such a jostle just to get close to one, and they shoot you dirty looks if you cover up even a hair of their profile. Normally I run up top at the U but today I was doing arms, which involved me using free weights in front of a mirror. Normally I avoid this area for fear of being showered in testosterony goodness (not just from the "men") but i dont want to screw up my arms while curling the good ol eight pounds. So i suffered through it. I am not sure if the males around me look in the mirror because they are hoping to see any change in their not quite as buff as the next guy physique or because they are just that full of themselves. Interestingly the hottest ones in there arent in front of the mirrors. It is usually the disproportionatly built upperbodied gentlemen with the ugly faces. Often they are balding too. (you can get a good look at the bald spots from the tredmills by the way)

4. Maybe the U should start charging a fee to use the weight room and cardio machines (which you get back after you had actually sweated a required 2ml. I hate all the chicks who come in their yoga pants just to hit on guys and wander around. Note to the pink haltertop clad sweetie. One set of 10 lat pull downs is not going to define your shoulders and back. Neither is cycling at 1 km/hour while reading some trash tabloid. Get out of my gyme. You piss me off and take up space. You also make it even hotter in their then necessary. I also hate that your makeup stays on and you still look good for the full hour your their. I am sweaty and gross, and you are wrecking my chance at meeting the sweaty gross guy of my dreams.

That is pretty much it. On to the next post which is even more bitter and emo then this one!

Chocolate Cake

Today I am craving chocolate cake. Moist, icing covered chocolate cake. I would kill for some right now. If it had nuts and marshmallows and chocolate chunks in it, it would be even better. Kind of like a brownie, but less dense. I would also like someone here to feed said chocolate cake to me. Last night I dreamed about eating those orange/yellow marshmallow and peanut butter squares that mom's made in the 90's. I think this is were the craving came from. I am currently watching the ORIGINAL Karate kid. I am so glad that people no longer wear clothing like that. I totally wanted to take karate when I was a kid. I even went and watched a class. HOwever my parents werent that excited and I ended up starting the swim club instead.

Well I think I am going to head over to save-on and buy myself some chocolate cake. Unfortunately there wont be anyone here to feed it to me.

Attnt: MF and AA

I have a new story. This story will make you laugh, in fact it might make you laugh even more then the short, french, sweater tucked into his shirt, Fort Mac guy.

If you would like to hear this story, you will have to hang out with me. But it will be worth it.

That is all for now.

Incoherent Ramblings

I know that most of you who read this will immediately understand what Im talking about. Yay for you. This is really meant to be a method of release, so I may not even admit to this in person.

Im in love with ________. I think subconciously I have been for quite a while. Heck, I even remember the first time I ever met him. Yes we hooked up a couple of times this summer however I think that was rebound. And I didnt love him then, like yes, love no. Over the past 6 months I would say that we have developed a relationship. Recently it has felt a bit one sided. I am really not sure if that is because I am becoming obsesive or because he has had a lot on his plate.

This really hurts because I dont think that there is any opportunity to "take it to the next level". I have finally admitied this to myself, and it feels like my chest is going to explode. I want to drink and scream and manize (opposite of womanize) and cry and curl up in a ball and die. I feel so emotional. Most of all I want to talk to him about it. But i cant do that because it will ruin the friendship we have and it will expose me.

After four years of not having a boyfriend I really want somone to be with, to chase away the lonlieness, BUT the kicker is, when I think about who I want to be with, I can only picture him. I am a commitment phobe and suck at the dating game. I like another guy, and can see some kind of relationship developing with him, but it cant because I love _____. To try something with someone else, wouldn't be honest.

I've only ever loved one other guy, and I ran from him when it got serious. Im a lot more mature now, but even if I did get what I want, I cant guarentee that I will behave in an appropriate manner. This makes it even worse. One of the reasons I dont think _____ would date me is because of how he's been kicked in the balls by women before. I cant even tell him that I wont kick him there because I dont trust myself. If he did date me, it woudlnt even be a supporting relationship in which he could heal because I myself am fucked up.

The final icing on the cake is that we are all part of a large very close social network. Im sure half the people know, and even if I ever do expose myself, I wouldnt just be exposing myself to him.

I want to tell him, I want to love him. I want him to love me.I feel so emo, I could die.

The blog that didn't post

So I posted a post last night.. or blogged a blog. Whatever the correct terminology I did it. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT it has gotten lost somewhere out there in the great blogssphere. I blame it all on my computer. So please don't get mad I have posted recently. With this addition I have actually posted twice. Which is more then usual.

In other news j'aime un garcon qui ne m'aime pas. (is that correct?) Aussi choir is going well and my groups for all my group projects (stupid ed classes) are moving alone at breakneck speed. Fortunately I am holding the reins of one project, and have at least one foot on the break for another. Yes I am mean, bossy and powerhungry. More importantly I like things to go well, actually get done.... Oh yah.. and to not suck!

Family is down this weekend, which is funtastic, loud and mean that I probably wont do enough reading for Edel 321. We are going to see a play at the Timm's Toilet called Mrs. Klein. According to the brochure the "shrapnel" ignites to become a "theatrical explosion". I thought that shrapnel is the results of an explosion, not the combustible materials required to make one. ?????


There was something else I wanted to mention, but I forgot while I was performing a spell check. So, that is all folks.

en francais

J'aime un garcon qui n'aime pas moi. Je regrette mon aimer parce que il est un bon ami et nous allons plus ensemble. Aussi un homme et moi, nous avions très superbe conversations mais, il ne parle pas avec moi en personne. C'est trop mal. Je voudrais d'une homme romantique et serieux et sympatique; aussi j'ai avoir besoin d'une homme qui m'aime!

If you want, correct my grammar and spelling. If you understand... just remember that I have a fever today, and am still wandering in the Saharah.